I've just changed my LJ domain name.

http://emthan87.livejournal.com/

I've been trying a vegan diet for the past week or so, and I'm slowly realizing just how much better I've been feeling because of it. For the first couple of days it felt like I was having meat withdrawels, but now I'm fine. On top of that, I've been feeling more awake because I have been eating less. I might adopt this as my permanent diet; it just depends on how my body adapts to the food I've been eating.

Soy milk sucks...

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y3HZzDS2_hU&feature=related

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Duran Duran: Falling Down

Once was a man who consumed his place and time
He thought nothing could touch him
But here and now it’s a different storyline
Like the straw he is clutching

Why has the sky turned grey
Hard to my face and cold on my shoulder
And why has my life gone astray
Scarred by disgrace, I know that its over

Because I’m falling down
With people standing round
But before I hit the ground
Is there time
Could I find someone out there to help me?

Howl at the wind rushing past my lonely head
Caught inside its own motion
How I wish it was somebody else instead
Howling at all this corrosion

Why did the luck run dry
Laugh in my face, so pleased to desert me
Why do the cruel barbs fly?
Now when disgrace can no longer hurt me

Because I’m falling down
With people standing round
But before I hit the ground
Is there time
Could I find someone out there to help me?

You see I'm falling down
With people standing round
But before I hit the ground
Is there time
Could I find someone out there to help me?

Because I’m falling down
With people standing round
But before I hit the ground
Is there time
Could I find someone out there to help me?

You see I’m falling down
With people standing round
But before I hit the ground
Is there time
Could I find someone out there to help me?

I don’t know...(4x)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hfl9e53LX_U

I love this video.

Also... "Coping With Depression"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FomroPMOKvg

I saw Cloverfield yesterday, it was awsome.

This song keeps playing in my head, so I'll place it here for everyone else to listen to.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n1PCW0C1aiM

Date:	2008-01-14 08:30
Subject:	Mm.
Security:	Public
Mood:	contemplative

Well, I've been thinking about it recently, and I've decided. I'm going to get a tattoo. Nothing I get will be in plain sight, but when I get one it will be placed on one of these regions of my body: my upper arm, upper chest, upper back, or lower leg. I haven't quite decided what I want yet, doing so will take some premeditative thought. If I like it, I may get more, but for right now, I'm going to keep any design that I get simple.

I'll put some pictures up somewhere once I've finally decided, but for now I'm going to do some research before I do anything rash.

Hell, I only live once.

I've gotten tired of having no backing to my thoughts and beliefs, so I bought a copy of the Holy Bible, a couple books on Atheism, a book on the case for a creator, and a book on the case for a real Jesus. I'm going to knuckle my way through the bible first if I can, seeing as it is the only text that documents god's existance. I'm doubtful that I'll change my beliefs, but at least I'll be able to explain myself better should someone challenge my passiveness on the issue.

[Hoobastank :Crawling in the dark]

I just got my final grades for this semester. I know that they aren't exceptional, but I hung in there.

Theatre Appreciation - B
Comm - C
Stat - N/C
Eng - B

Now I know that they aren't A's or anything, but the point is a fucking passed - FUCK YEAH!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6aja18HgTTs

Date:	2007-11-27 14:44
Subject:	Zeroing in on what matters
Security:	Public
Mood:	contemplative
Music:	Fischerspooner: "You're my disco"

I've been to focused on the past recently and I have been disregarding all of the good things that I have going for me right now. Here I am going briefly reflect on some of my thoughts over the past few weeks. I suppose I could start by speaking about existentialism, a philosophical concept that attacks metaphysical principals, or thoughts that are beyond that of the human experience. Thinking that humans are ultimately responsible for creating their own meaning and filling the gap in time between their birth and death without influence of a diety, existentialists brought thinking inside the box to a whole new level.

We have been reading 'Waiting for Godot' by Samuel L. Beckett, a European play that was written in French during the year of 1948 around the time World War II ended and the depression loomed. A very brief synopsis of the play itself is as follows.

If you don't feel like reading through all of the the crap that is within the lines, click here for the abridged version.

-

Two men, one named Vladimir and one name Estragon stand under a leafless tree waiting for a man named Godot to arrive. While they wait, they talk fruitlessly about things like death, the bible, food, and how when Godot finally shows up things will be better. After a while two new characters arrive, Pozo and Lucky, master and slave. Pozo makes Lucky dance and then goes off saying that he is off to the slave market to sell Lucky. Vladimir and Estragon talk of suicide and then a boy arrives to tell them that Godot isn't coming, but he'll surely be there the next day. end first act.

In act two Vladimir and Estragon meet up at the tree and Vladimir realizes that there are leaves on it. They talk about nonsense for a while and then Pozo and Lucky show up again. Pozo is now blind and he falls over. Vladimir remember meeting them and Estragon does not. After speaking more nonsense Pozo and Lucky leave. Vladimir and Estragon talk nonsense and a boy shows up to tell them that Godot isn't coming, but he'll surely come the next day. Both Estragon and Vladimir say that they aren't going to stay. When the curtain closes, Neither of the characters move.

Their is no description of any of the characters in the play, so how the characters are interpreted is totally up to the reader. However, all of the characters have thier own differing personalities that reflect certian traits.

Estragon - if I were to label him, is a short-tempered man who is obsessed with his feet and is often forgetful.

Vladimir - I visualize him as the caretaker of Estragon because he is the one who seems to have his wits about him and remembers things.

Pozo - A man of wealth who passes by the two.

Lucky - The man of wealth's slave.

The boy - A messenger

I'm afraid to put to much emphasis on to what these characters are because Samuel L. Beckett did not intend the play that he wrote to have meaning, which means that everything that I have just wrote is simply a reflection of my interpretation of the text I read implied. In a sense, I have been filling the the spaces that he left blank and giving them meaning, so I would greatly suggest that if you are actually interested in this play to not take my word for anything that he wrote. In a sense, by reading this you have made the decision to waste your own time, as have I by writing this, but having these ideals in mind, I have began to think about my own past and future as meaningless as they may be. Hopefully the things that I do aren't meaningless to others; I need people and I want to be recognized for what I do, even if it doesn't amount to anything.

-

Lately, I've been trying to decide what I really want out of my life, and it has really been baffling me, so instead of bitching, moaning, and stressing, I'm trying to list out my circumstances and decide what would benefit me most on my venture through college. Right now, I'm making a list of things that I have going for me, and I'll work from there. Later, I'm going to list a few things that I need to work on that bother me. So here are the things that are going good right now.

1. I have an 'awsome' girlfriend.
2. I'm in College, and I'm staying no matter how long it takes me to graduate.
3. I have good friends that care. If you are my friend, you know who you are.
4. I've got a good job
5. I've got a vehical
6. I've got a nice coat. [Love that thing...]
7. I have a bed to sleep in.
8. I'm going to try taking judo today.
9. I'm starting to get along with my dad again.

There are several more and I am grateful for them all, but I have to go take my free judo lesson.

Thank you for reading through my poor grammar and run-on sentences. I love you guys.

Date:	2007-11-22 10:03
Subject:	Sometimes I Feel This Way
Security:	Public
Mood:	busy

Sick Puppies: Too Many Words

I've tried to balance these lives that we are living
You always feel justified but you never feel forgiving
I woke up one morning to find myself wrapped in the things I swore I'd never touch.
And here I am again trying to save what's left of you and I
So why aren't you satisfied?

I reached out, fell short
Now you're hurt, too many words
Breaking the silence
I felt it, bled it, screamed it,
It only gets worse
And it kills me watching me too angry for us to survive
I used too many words tonight

I tried to get it right
But I was just wastin' my time
'cause you never compromised when it came to us
We struggle and fall apart we build it back to static start
The endless accusations I can't believe we made it this far.

I reached out, fell short

Now you're hurt, too many words
Breaking the silence
I felt it, bled it, screamed it,
It only gets worse
And it kills me watching me too angry for us to survive
I used too many words tonight

Waking alone tomorrow, has gotta be better than this

I reached out, fell short
Now you're hurt, too many words
Breaking the silence
I felt it, bled it, screamed it,
It only gets worse
I used too many words tonight
Too many words
Too many words
Too many words
Too many words

 Blue October: Into The Ocean lyrics

I'm just a normal boy
That sank when I fell overboard
My ship would leave the country
But I'd rather swim ashore

Without a life vest I'd be stuck again
Wish I was much more masculine
Maybe then I could learn to swim
Like 'fourteen miles away'

Now floating up and down
I spin, colliding into sound
Like whales beneath me diving down
I'm sinking to the bottom of my
Everything that freaks me out
The lighthouse beam has just run out
I'm cold as cold as cold can be
be

I want to swim away but don't know how
Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean
Let the waves up take me down
Let the hurricane set in motion... yeah
Let the rain of what I feel right now...come down
Let the rain come down

Where is the coastguard
I keep looking each direction
For a spotlight, give me something
I need something for protection
Maybe flotsam junk will do just fine
the jetsam sunk, I'm left behind
I'm treading for my life believe me
(How can I keep up this breathing)

Not knowing how to think
I scream aloud, begin to sink
My legs and arms are broken down
With envy for the solid ground
I'm reaching for the life within me
How can one man stop his ending
I thought of just your face
Relaxed, and floated into space

I want to swim away but don't know how
Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean
Let the waves up take me down
Let the hurricane set in motion... yeah
Let the rain of what I feel right now...come down
Let the rain come down
Let the rain come down

Now waking to the sun
I calculate what I had done
Like jumping from the bow (yeah)
Just to prove I knew how (yeah)
It's midnight's late reminder of
The loss of her, the one I love
My will to quickly end it all
Set front row in my need to fall

Into the ocean, end it all
Into the ocean, end it all
Into the ocean, end it all
into the ocean...end it all

[Zayra]
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)

I want to swim away but don't know how
Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean
Let the waves up take me down
Let the hurricane set in motion (yeah)
Let the rain of what I feel right now...come down
Let the rain come down
Let the rain come down

Date:	2007-10-15 22:57
Subject:	-grin-
Security:	Public
Mood:	accomplished

Tonight was a good night. 

Goodbye